May 11th, 2012

False Shepherds Never Say They’re Sorry

If you have a leader who never apologizes, it might be a red flag..As I look back I understand the implications involved when someone never apologizes except when it benefits themselves somehow. When I examined the characteristics of Psychopathic Personality Disorder it was uncanny how closely one of my church leaders fit the profile. Keeping control of people who fear God makes it easy for them to act out their behavior problems, getting those people to transfer that fear from God to them. They have a sick need and obsession to be important and in control. These puffed up wolves in sheeps clothing are extremely arrogant and full of themselves, believing that they are on a higher plain , with God , and think themselves wiser by far than the average Christian..These truly believe they can do no wrong. Often they know the scriptures inside and out, and have a handle even on doctrines. However, they think themselves to be very like God , but all the while they are His opposites and as far away from His humility, mercy, grace and lovingkindness as they can get..If something seems wrong in this regard, it could be a spiritual shipwreck for some of God’s people..

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May 5th, 2012

You Give: They Take And Take And Take

Abusive church leaders seem to feel you owe them to give them all you have, until you have nothing else to give them. Even if you become spiritually, physically, and emotionally drained they think themselves entitled to more. If you tire out then theres something drastically wrong with you. According to them your prayer life is off, you haven’t been reading the Bible enough, and your thinking isn’t in line with God’s.

Think of Jesus who is the Great Shepherd. He left the glory of Heaven to come here to die on a cross for us..Should not His undershepherds follow in His footsteps..He did not seek His own desires and glory, but those of the Father..Faithful loving under shepherds and true Church leaders are: giving, loving, unselfish,even giving their own lives for His dear sheep..False shepherds are cruel taskmasters to His sheep and take all they can from His people and demand more. Jesus Himself said there will be a day of reckoning for them, and it won’t be pretty.

betterment but washed the feet of His Deciples. Abusive, self serving, false shepherds may preach some true doctrines but, actions always speak

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May 5th, 2012

Church Committee’s Can Be A Protection

The Pastor of the abusive church I was involved with regularly criticized and made fun of church committees . They themselves had no committees. The Pastor’s wife helped him make all decisions. The elders were simply yes-men who went along with the pastor and his wife. No one inside the church ever had any input, they were simply expected to go blindly along with anything..Now I realize how vital it is to the overall health of a church that there be a variety of discussion and even debate in making some decisions. If one or two people control everything in your church beware, that church may be in deep trouble. If you mention these things and are looked on as a trouble maker for questioning their practices and worse yet shunned., it will be a painful exit, but the best and most freeing thing that ever happened to you..

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May 4th, 2012

Spiritual Abuse Hurts The Spirit And Soul

Are you miserable in your church? Is it painful to sit there on Sunday mornings? Is there anyone whom church leaders are accountable to? If your church is called a “Chapel”, “Fellowship” or “Temple” , be careful..Quite often these are elitist groups with no accountablity as to how they treat people, and/or how they spend your money..Are you made to feel guilty for not giving enough, whether in service or money? Ask questions..listen carefully to the response or lack of explanations..Look for the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE..IS IT THERE? If not, find a church that loves the Lord and is accountable..Are you afraid to leave? This is definitely a red flag..The pain is increased brutally when you are excommunicated and betrayed..

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April 30th, 2012

Settling Into The Local Body

Abusive leaders in so-called christian churches think the local body is only where they are, and where they themselves are the only authority. Their view is small and as the narcicists they are it is all about them. If God’s plan was that small there would be no hope for any of us..There is life going on all around us in healthy churches which together make up the body of Christ. We have seen Him tear down the high places in a sick abusive church. The name of the church has now come down along with the pastor’s name, and a new For Sale sign is standing in front of the desolate and abandoned building. However friends, the Local assembly is alive and well. God is so good..We’re thankful for His healing and His grace..

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April 30th, 2012

Spiritual Abuse by Becky DiPietro

The following are Becky’s words:

“I was part of a church for seventeen years. I loved my church, I loved my place in the Body of Christ, and I loved the Leaders very much.   In an instant I found out that what I thought I knew was all pretend.  I was no longer accepted, and I was no longer needed, and I realized that I was never loved by those that I loved very much.  This is when the Spiritual Abuse began for me…….”

“Here are some thoughts that came to me about the Spiritual Abuse  which I have been through . ”

 Spiritual Abuse

My pain is deep,  and it cuts to the soul.

    My heart hurts so badly it feels impossible to heal.

My mind feels betrayed,  shattered and torn

    I’m in a state of confusion, wondering what is going on.

My heart only loved them with each passing beat,

    My eyes filled with tears;  My soul ripped apart,

My head spinning quickly with no rest to find.

    My weary body hurts, and aches with pain

Feeling battered, bruised, and beaten upon.

    Great sadness takes over ;  as I wait for resolve.

But soon I realize that nothing I do;

    can change the pain they are putting me through.

Then one day I begin to get strong;  and slowly I learn to be wise.

    I can feel my reason for being;  coming back into my heart…

I remember then that I chose Him,

    I remember then that He has come in.

I then realize that I am free;  at last, at last  I am free!

    I pray for my heart not to be hard,  

I pray this for me and my family;

    Time continues to heal my pain,

Though at times I feel I’ll never be the  same.

    The Spiritual Abuse reminds me of what Jesus went through.

Somehow I am reminded and think to myself, 

    ‘that  He was the prize I was seeking out.’

I loved them much though they never loved me;

    It was worth it all because Jesus loves me…..”

                             Written by Becky DiPietro June 6, 2011

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March 23rd, 2012

No Trespassing

What a sad thing to see an abandoned church building..The Pastor and his wife divorced and the congregation scattered..On the end of the driveway are two signs; No Trespassing! This is what can happen to False Shepherds and to those who follow them. What a travesty!

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January 7th, 2012

New Year Blessings And Christ’s Freedom To All

To my friends and even to those who think us their enemies who read this blog we wish you a Happy New Year…We praise God that we are finally free and pray that those who are held captive would find the true freedom only trusting in Christ alone can bring..

This is the year of new beginnings for us…We have opened a litle gift shop which is an answer to many years of prayer.. We are so thankful for our Lord who provides His own with hope and courage for the spiritual battle all Christians face daily…We have the armor described in Ephesians chapter 6 and the Holy Spirit to comfort and encourage us. So we press on toward the goal…. The goal of knowing Christ Jesus …the Lover of our soul…..Praise Him that we have entered our 6th year of freedom from slaving for men..and we are resting in the presence of the Lord as we serve Him in a wonderful church with true Leaders who are mere servants just like ourselves…..Blessings to you all.. Feel free to write us whomever you are..We love you all and look to our Lord to set all the captives free…

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November 12th, 2011

Breaking Free!

Here is a quote from the cover of “The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse” by David Johnson and Jeff Van Vonderen:

“”Breaking Free From Spiritual Enslavement”    

“No one should leave church feeling manipulated, controlled, shamed, or condemned.  But places of shelter and encouragement can become abusive if spiritual leaders begin to use their authority to meet their needs for importance, power, or spiritual gratification.  He’re you’ll discover how to identify an abusive church and also how to break free from it’s destructive legalism.”

Topics covered include:

        How spiritual abuse develops- and why those under it’s grip often don’t see it

        The subtle ways that leaders and systems “hook” and control believers, robbing them of their Joy in Christ

        Scriptual help in recognizing healthy spiritual relationships

        Effective strategies for escaping abusive situations

Insightful, practical, and solidly grounded in Scripture, this book has what you need to recover a grace-filled relationship with God and His Church.”

We  at Anchor Abuse.org   Deprogramming Devotionals highly recommend this book.

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October 18th, 2011

Ten Rules Of A Harmful Faith System

We write these in order that someone who may be caught in an abusive church system might see it and they might become free…. From the book, Faith that Hurts Faith that Heals by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton :  ”In a healthy church system , each person goes by the rules of God, not the dictates of people..Each person is freed to develop a relationship with their Creator, not with an organization” or charismatic leader.  “The only rule is perseverance in seeking Him.”

Here are Ten Rules of a Harmful Faith System…According to the above book…

1.  The leader must be in control of every aspect at all times.

2.  When problems arise, find a guilty party to blame immediately.

3.  Don’t make mistakes

4.  Never point out the realty of the situation

5.  Never express your feelings unless they are positive.

6.  Don’t ask questions,   especially if they are tough ones.

7.  Don’t do anything outside of your role.

8.  Don’t trust anyone.

9.  Nothing is more important than giving money to the organization.

10 At all cost keep up the image of the organization

In the abusive system I was caught in,  many of the above applied… , however, until I was willing to rock the boat, they did not come to light..    When they did come to light my first reaction was denial….

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