Ten Rules Of A Harmful Faith System
We write these in order that someone who may be caught in an abusive church system might see it and they might become free…. From the book, Faith that Hurts Faith that Heals by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton : ”In a healthy church system , each person goes by the rules of God, not the dictates of people..Each person is freed to develop a relationship with their Creator, not with an organization” or charismatic leader. “The only rule is perseverance in seeking Him.”
Here are Ten Rules of a Harmful Faith System…According to the above book…
1. The leader must be in control of every aspect at all times.
2. When problems arise, find a guilty party to blame immediately.
3. Don’t make mistakes
4. Never point out the realty of the situation
5. Never express your feelings unless they are positive.
6. Don’t ask questions, especially if they are tough ones.
7. Don’t do anything outside of your role.
8. Don’t trust anyone.
9. Nothing is more important than giving money to the organization.
10 At all cost keep up the image of the organization
In the abusive system I was caught in, many of the above applied… , however, until I was willing to rock the boat, they did not come to light.. When they did come to light my first reaction was denial….
Filed under: Uncategorized
Ha, I totally agree with what the prior commenter said. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Regardless, happy holidays to everyone.
There is no pain like that imposed on sincere Christians who are members of an abusive church. It often takes many years to recover from it. I speak from experience. After leaving the church I was in for 30 years, the feeling of hopelessness was overwhelming, crushing, and mind wrecking. Three things have sustained me: 1. In depth study of God’s Word, with special emphasis on Christ as our High Priest. 2. God’s mercy in placing me in a loving church with good friends 3. Prayer.
continued from my previous post…..
Another helpful thing is acceptance. Accept what can’t be regained. Accept it as God’s will, though painful. Accept what can’t be changed, and put it in God’s hands. Accept the fact that even some family, and some old friends, may shun you, and spurn your love. Many will come around eventually, and some will eventually join you. No one is safe, and no one lasts for the longhaul in such a church. Be patient, keep loving them, and be a haven when they need it. The pain will linger, but God will sustain you. Love and pray for the abuser.