Daily Deprogramming

When I was a new Christian back in 1981, there was a closeness that I actually felt to the Lord. I knew He was near. I recognized His presence all around me. I felt as if I had finally come alive and He was my closest friend and confidante.  

Of course I had just come out of the Jehovah’s Witnesses which had been my religion, my “family” my friends for a whole lifetime.  I lost all of that  but oh what I gained!  A living relationship with Jesus Christ!

The closeness with Him  didn’t fade either  for a number of years. I remember when all I had to do is get down on my knees and pray, and He would answer and turn me around if it was needed. When this happened I knew and felt that I was clean before Him.

I remember the first time it didn’t happen anymore.  It was while I was staying nights with Ardith Keef. After she,  and her present husband defrocked her then pastor husband.  It was when we as a church were going into the former Pastor’s home for every meeting whether his wife was there or not, shunning him in his own home. Our teacher, and our Pastor  had instantly  become “reprobate” in all of our eyes because of a  smooth sly word from the mouth of his wife spoken at the appropriate time to stab him like a Black Widow spider kills her prey.   Then we began praying for his death!  He lives healthy and happy today and is 78 years old!

It wasn’t long after this in 1994  that the new pastor and Ardith began finding “spiritual flaws” in his wife as well.  She began being shunned by the church also.  She was called possessed. She was  abused by the “new” Anchor Missionary Fellowship Church and the abuse continues.  The marriage broke up and within a year Bill and Ardith Keef married.  I supported them. Their approach was slippery, well thought out, and I was a pawn used to cover their tracks because I loved the Lord, I trusted Ardith, and believed her faith in God and her integrity toward his Kingdom was her first interest.

I stayed with her nights for nine months to protect the church from the “appearence of evil” because I knew she was in love with Bill Keef while they were both still married to other mates , I did it to protect her from her newly “reprobate” defrocked husband.   But I was dead wrong!   We all were wrong.  We sinned!   We stepped as far away from Him and His Kingdom as we could get. The whole church fell apart.  Bill Keef’s family was disintegrated and his children terribly damaged. 

I was no help to anyone because I was blinded by my trust in Ardith’s knowledge, and her appearence of wisdom about spiritual things.  I stood up for Ardith like a Bulldog!  This situation was nothing new for Ardith!   The same scenario had taken place before, only there were ten kids instead of four.  She mentioned it to me once , and I should have responded with abhorance and disgust!  I let her down and I was wrong!  I helped the whole church get into this mess!  It was sin.

While I was staying  with Ardith (protecting her) one night  I felt dirty.  I went home to pray and nothing happened. I didn’t feel clean. I knew it, recognized it and simply went on with business as usual.   My thoughts of protecting Ardith and the church drowned out any thoughts of needing to be cleansed from the unrighteousness we were engaging in.  My conscience was clouded and my spiritual  sight was affected.  I  sincerely went through the motions.  I  enjoyed being a “Christian” , loved serving  my Church ,I loved Ardith  and truly enjoyed working for her. . I even led a dozen people to Christ,  but I was miserable inside, troubled in my soul and spirit,  and  it simply got worse as the years went by.  I was dulled to hearing from God , but I loved to hear about Him ,and sing songs about Him, and He continued to be faithful to me,  There was some answered prayer. but not in the closeness, and the sense of cleansing I had experienced before.  

It wasn’t until the Lord in His mercy allowed the horrendous events that shook my world in 2006  that I woke up from my spiritual stupor.  Now my family is reaping what I have sown. but the Lord remains Faithful. The position I took of supporting Bill and Ardith Keef in the abuse of good people, and the breaking up of homes, has spread like a ”witch grass” weed to my own family.  In admitting the sin, there is freedom. In confessing the sin , and  with repentence there is forgiveness.  In going to the person to ask forgiveness there is fresh light and healing.   “The Blood of  Jesus cleanses us from all unrighteousness.”

Now even though our family is suffering the deep grief and painful  loss of our  beloved family member , and two of my grandchildren to a cult , I know I am clean.  The vilest of sinners can be forgiven.  Jesus Christ is once again my “first love.”   I am His, and He is mine.  I trust Him for it all.  I continue to pray for the people in the Anchor Church who have been deceived.  I pray for God’s best for them, and for their release from the power of the enemy , and their own sin.  I continue to pray for the breaking down of strongholds and the pulling down of the high places.  God is able, and He does answer prayer!